This evening I would like to discuss wedding etiquette. We will talk about two specific topics. Those of you who know me know that I can go on for days about this kind of thing and have often sought my advice (well done). However it is late and I have drinks to drink so we will stick to two topics. You should all know that I take most of my etiquette training from a lovely woman named Emily Post. She is a published author so you may all go and educate yourselves should this strike a cord with you.
Topic 1 Showers and Parties
It has come to my attention that there are many brides to be who are confused about showers and parties for their big day. Let me be of assistance to you. A bridal shower is appropriate and even expected. However you should not have more than one shower where the same guests are invited. That puts a great burden on the guests because they feel obligated to buy you lots of presents. This is rude. The people who should throw you a shower should be close friends, friends of the family etc. Your immediate family should not throw a shower unless it is necessary because this can seem a little self-serving. Your total number of showers should be no more than 2. Don't be selfish. For further information I will refer you to my mentor Emily Post.
Topic 2 Gift Giving
When you send your invitation in the mail it carries an unspoken gift-in-return obligation. This means that if I receive an invite to your nuptials it would be bad form for me not to send a gift and if I don't want to sully my pristine reputation you will certainly receive a gift from me. No one likes to be the topic of gossip (unless you want to talk about how skinny I have recently become or what amazing jewelry I have!) When you are registering for your gifts consider your needs as a newly married couple. I am quite certain you do not NEED a flat screen TV or a flippin video game system. You might instead choose a lovely set of china or crystal to host my next birthday party with. Just a thought. Also when you register select gifts in a variety of different price ranges. Although some of us live in a world of champagne wishes and caviar dreams (Ally and I) others do not. Don't be obnoxious. And please do not assume that your guests are going to purchase off your registry. They may buy your gift where they choose. It is a gift and a privelege not a right. If you are giving a gift please send it addressed to the bride at her last known residence. Don't bring gifts to the wedding unless you want to carry it right back out with you. You may begin sending gifts as soon as you receive an invitation. Oh and brides?...I hope you have a system of keeping track of your gifts because sending out thank you cards is priority A1 when you return from your honeymoon!
In my next novEL session we will be discussing bridesmaids and other attendants. This is definitely one that you need to be on the look out for because this is a hot button issue for me and I'm sure to be on my soap box. An even taller one than what I'm on normally.
Post Scipt- I am very glad that Ally isn't going to become a crazy PETA lady because you better believe I sport fur in the winter and I would be pissed if she ruined it. We would have to disband the Style Sirens. So sad.
Make sure you come hang out with us on Thursdays 7pm at Aliante station! And don't forget to tune in to the third season of Mad Men Sunday at 10pm.
xo
Lauren Gardiner
COO
The Las Vegas Style Sirens
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Dear Miss Ally,
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful to have these issues of etiquette and the expected outcomes..
However in our situation (with the elopement) our family and friends still wishing to give us gifts - is it all right to accept?
We have suggested that an alternative to buying us a gift would be to select a book that they love and that means something to them to give as a gift to create library of memories.
We would prefer not to receive any gifts as we already have everything that we need (no i'm not just saying that) and we also are aware that times are tough for some people but a well loved book may be affordable and a more heartfelt gift.
This has come with some surprise and i was wondering what you think!
Much love D&P